I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
