did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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