Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
