I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
