think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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