i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
