My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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