Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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