walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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