I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
