Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
