3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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