nut hugger
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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