Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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