it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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