Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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