I want to have your abortion
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
