My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
