so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
