Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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