so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
