I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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