The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
