whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
