It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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