I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Where is the hickey?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
