i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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