He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
