Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
