I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
