Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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