That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize