i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
