All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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