the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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