Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
