Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
