Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Panties = found
Randomize
