I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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