ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
