Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
