I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize