does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
