i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
