Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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