And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
