i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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