i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
