why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
