Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
