he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
