So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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