I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
