It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
