oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
