You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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