Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I am one with the molecules
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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