nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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