I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
