All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize