quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
