sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
