I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize