Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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