is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
