She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
